So I know I just used this picture but I didn't really point out that little fella on the right side of your screen. I know I have a lot of blogging to do for little B but for some reason, tonight, I can't get my grandpa off the brain. I look at this picture, and I see my grandma (obviously) and I see my grandpa (another obvious) but when I take a second look, I see so much more. I see me, I see my mom, I see my siblings, my cousins, I see sleep overs, and werthers candies, I see a Coke bottle and the Utah Jazz, I see a magnifying glass and a pair of perfectly shined cowboy boots. I see a semi truck and a bottle of Old Spice. I see my sweet little baby boy and the arms he just left. I see my grandpa. MY GRANDPA!
Sometimes I feel like I wasn't old enough to understand what happened, to understand what we lost, or what we went through. I love my grandma dearly, I think she is amazing and such a good example as to what a good person is. Note, I said good person, not a perfect person. She has her faults but she understands what they are, and let me tell you, I'd only beg for her faults compared to mine! Haha! But as I say that, I laugh because no matter what my faults are I know she loves me, whole heartedly and ALWAYS. Grandma has a lot of love to give, but it is ONE LOVE. It is always the same, always consistent. She accepts you for who you are, no matter what. With that said, I go back to my grandpa. I feel like I didn't know him the way I wish I could have. I am not going to blame it on selfishness, or anything crazy like that, but, I will say that I was young. I was young and I didn't fully understand the heartache that I still feel, that I see my mom feel, that I see my grandma and aunts and uncle feel. I almost wish I had more to talk about, to write about, to hide about. He was such an amazing man and although my opportunities with him were short lived, they were remembered and they always will be. I love you Grandpa, I love you more than I know how to say, to type, to write, or to think. I hope you hear the thoughts in my mind and can feel the love that I have for you. I have to see you again, I have to feel you again, I have to hear your voice. Please save your favorite memories for me, I'd love to hear your side of all these stories I hear! I love you old man. Excuse me, Old Handsome Man!
XOXO,
Shaylee
